Elliot Page’s biography came out in June of this year by Flatiron Books. I could see from the cover that Elliot no longer presents as the “starlet actress” Ellen Page I remembered fondly from blockbuster hits, “Juno” and “Whip It.” I have since learned that Elliot was the first openly transman to be featured on the cover of Time magazine in March 2021. I found his gender transition to be intriguing and wondered what his narrative might be like. I did not choose this book because I believe that transpeople are mentally ill. Far from it.
Elliot’s beautifully written narrative explores his childhood growing up in Nova Scotia, his dysfunctional family experience as a child of divorce, the trauma he went through being bullied and his passion for creative make-believe that led to his eventual phenomenal success as an actor. He discusses his many experiences falling in and out of love and of the confusion he went through as first coming out as a lesbian only to understand that this did not match with his internal feelings of maleness. He writes “We know who we are. People align to these firm ideas about gender because it makes people feel safe. But if we could just celebrate all the wonderful complexities of people, the world would be such a better place.”
His voice is strong, yet incredibly humble and self-aware. Elliot explains from the very start of his memoir that his experience is only one of the transgender community and that he cannot speak for everyone. The topic of “should transgender people have access to healthcare”, or “bathrooms that align with their gender”, or “which sports teams should they play on” has become ugly, divisive political issues. A great deal of bigotry and hatred has emerged that frightens me as a cisgender woman, so I can only imagine what like is like for a transperson at this moment in history. It is a tragic fact that gender non-conforming people are more likely to die of suicide and homicide than other groups of people. This hatred and fear of those who are different than the “norm” is nothing new in US culture. It’s packaged to us differently in the 21st century, in the form of click-bait and cruel, ignorant laws returning to the books.
I choose this book for my therapy-themed blog because I believe that reading is an excellent way to increase one’s empathy with others who have had different life experiences. I felt that I much better understood where Elliot was coming from after reading about his life. His struggle to lead his most authentic life is inspiring. This is the work we must do as therapists. We must continually increase our ability to tap into compassion and empathy. Elliot’s memoir reminded me of reading “Stone Butch Blues” by Leslie Feinberg several years ago. Both books explore homophobia and transphobia from both the straight and, unfortunately, the gay communities. Leslie Feinberg’s account dealt more with the aftermath of big T trauma of sexual assault (dissociation, numbness, fear). “Page Boy” explores the symptoms of “smaller” t trauma of being pressured to live as a woman when your lived experience is not female (depression, anxiety, fear).
I give “Page Boy: A Memoir” a 5 out of 5 star rating because of how captivating the writing is, the closeness I felt to Elliot as he shared his vulnerabilities and also because I’m fascinated by Hollywood’s bullshit. He went through A LOT of harassment and disbelief by the people who were supposed to be working for him (managers, agents, other actors). The only thing I would critique is that the narrative wasn’t entirely linear/clear. The jumping ahead and back into time confused me a little bit. Maybe transgender issues confuse you a little bit. Maybe you do some reading. Perhaps you start with “Page Boy”. Perhaps you roll with your confusion and not allow it to whip you up into some sort of easily manipulated, political hate frenzy? I think we’d have a healthier society if this is our approach.
