“The goal here is to create a situation you no longer have to escape, or a life you don’t have to numb. The achievement of sobriety is not the point, it’s a by-product of the work. The work is the point. Addiction is the hook that gets you in the door, and quitting is the catalyst to heal deeper wounds.” Holly Whitaker writes in her powerful non-fiction book, Quit Like a Woman: The Radical…
What is self-love? Why do so many people struggle to love themselves? Self-love is not selfish. It’s not about stepping on others. It’s not about grandiosity or arrogance. Self-love allows us to show up for others with energy and to be happier in our interpersonal relationships. It lets us see when others try to take advantage of us, treat us poorly or do not respect our boundaries. We won’t accept poor behavior from others because…
I give myself permission to skip writing this year’s Autmn Book Review. I don’t have to be perfect with the construction of this blog. I am enough.
Sometimes we don’t have the words to describe our pain. Sometimes it feels anxiety-provoking to sit with a new counselor, or even a therapist we’ve been working with for awhile, and share our most vulnerable secrets. Our shame. Experiences that feel unique, lonely, regrettable. As a therapist, I know that there are times when a barrage of questions isn’t the right method for growth between my client and myself. Sometimes sitting in silence isn’t the…
Keeping a dream diary can be an incredibly powerful tool when engaging in therapeutic work. The best time to record a dream is immediately upon awakening from it, when its initial memory and the emotions attached to it are most deeply experienced. I know that the temptation to drift back off to slumber, if you are able to, can oftentimes be too powerful, or necessary, to ignore. But it is my belief that our…
I use the term “eclectic therapist” when describing my counseling style. This means that I use a variety of counseling methods in order to build rapport, assess for issues and to help clients discover their own answers to their problems. I’m asked to describe which techniques and approaches I use on various marketing directories and when I speak with potential clients. I have mixed feelings about this line of questioning. On one hand,…
Elliot Page’s biography came out in June of this year by Flatiron Books. I could see from the cover that Elliot no longer presents as the “starlet actress” Ellen Page I remembered fondly from blockbuster hits, “Juno” and “Whip It.” I have since learned that Elliot was the first openly transman to be featured on the cover of Time magazine in March 2021. I found his gender transition to be intriguing and wondered what…
I don’t have a lot of experience counseling couples. The majority of my background involves treatment of adult individuals, with some experience working with pre-teen children. Occasionally, I have worked with an individual who wanted to bring their partner into session in order to enhance their own therapeutic process. After one of these sessions went terribly wrong (think: new-to-me partner dominated the conversation and then had a full-blown panic attack/temper tantrum when I pointed…
Sometimes when I look into my dog’s dark brown eyes and I see his total adoration and calm sense of serenity gazing back at me, I wonder: Why can’t my mental health be more like a dog’s? Randolph doesn’t have petty interpersonal troubles. He doesn’t sink into maddening, unpredictable depressions, nor does he fly into erratic manic highs. He certainly isn’t losing any sleep over worrying what others might think about him. Randolph has…
I first became strongly attracted to practicing Self-Care and exploring the concept with clients when working with survivors of Domestic Violence (DV) during my internship. I define Self-Care as a form of putting oneself first. I don’t believe this is a bad thing. Selfishness, when tempered with a self-awareness of keeping it in balance with one’s other responsibilities, is not a bad thing. The (mostly female) survivors of DV I met had been through such…
